Funny Falling Off Cliff Hitting Over and Over
What's the definition of mixed emotions?
When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your brand new car.
Poor Boy
A young boy is standing at the edge of a cliff, crying his eyes out.
A Catholic priest happens to walks past and, seeing the boy, asks, "Whats wrong, my child?"
"My mother and father were in the car and it rolled off the cliff. It exploded and they died, and I have no way of getting home!"
The priest looks around and, as he's unbuttoning his pants, says "This really isn't your day is it, my son?"
Two Snare drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff
buh dum tss
My favorite pokemon joke
What did pikachu say when ash fell off a cliff? Pikachu, that's all he can say.
A young boy was standing on the edge of a cliff.
He was crying while looking down at a burning car. A man was walking by when he saw the boy was crying so he approched him and asked "What's wrong?". The boy answered that his parents were in the burning car and that they both were dead. Then the man unzipped his pants and said "This really isn't your day,kid.."
A girl was about to jump off a cliff...
A girl was about to jump off a cliff to end her life. Just as she was about to leap to her death, a homeless man approached from behind and shouted to ask her a question,
"Excuse me miss! Before you jump would you like to have sex with me?"
The woman replied angrily, "No I most certainly would not! How dare you try and take advantage of me in a situation like this!"
The homeless responded, "Very well then, I'll just wait for you to get to the bottom."
What do you call a woman who fell off a cliff?
Eileen Dover...
The definition of mixed emotions...
My mother-in-law driving of a cliff in my new car
Why did Jose push his wife off the cliff?
Tequila...
Two drums and a cymbal jump off a cliff...
Ba dum tss.
What did the little mountain say to the big mountain?
"Hi, Cliff "
You can explore cliff bridge reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean cliff climber dad jokes. There are also cliff puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff?
Tequila.
A man bought a horse from a pastor of a church...
The pastor explains to him "to make the horse go yell 'Thank God!' And to make it stop yell 'Hallelujah'". He is riding the horse and gets distracted when he notices he is about to ride off a cliff and begins to yell "Hallelujah! Hallelujah!", and the horse stops just at the edge of the cliff. He wipes his sweat off and says "Phew! Thank God!".
*Old Russian joke my dad used to tell*
A German boy pushed his brother off a cliff.
He then turned to his mother and said "Look Mom! No Hans!"
My Echo
''You're beautiful and I love you," I yelled as I stood alone on the cliff, and my echo replied "I just want to be friends."
A hiker stuck on a branch
A hiker slipped over the edge of a cliff, and would surely have fallen to his death except for a branch he managed to grab, just a few feet from the top. He clung there in terror and yelled, "Help! Can anybody hear me?" A booming voice said, "I am God. Just let go of that branch and I'll catch you." There was a long silence until the hiker hollered, "Can anybody else hear me?"
Well, you know what they say about cliffhangers...
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To push Jake off a cliff.... he really hates Jake.
as told by my 6 year old who hates a kid named Jake.
What did Helen Keller say when she fell off the cliff?
Nothing, she had her mittens on.
Why didn't Helen Keller scream when she fell off the cliff?
She was wearing mittens
A Sheep, a Drum, and a Snake fall off a cliff
Baa-Dumm-Tsss
A boy is looking over a tall cliff...
A young boy is peering down a high cliff when an old man walks over. The old man says "Hey its dangerous up here, where are your parents?". The boy tearfully replies "my mom just fell off the cliff". The old man horrified asks "Where is your father?". This time the boy falls to his knees and cries "He fell trying to save her". The old man unzips his pants and says "Sorry kid, today just isn't your day".
What A Day...
I phoned my girlfriend and said, What a day! I accidentally threw the dog's ball off a cliff.
Oh dear, she said. Did you have to go down and get it?
I replied, Nah. I won't need it any more.
Why did the ram run off the cliff?
He didn't see the ewe turn.
Cliffs are so great...
But they have one downside
A sheep, a drum, and a snake fell off a cliff.
Ba-dum-tss.
Two snares and a cymbal falls off a cliff
BADUMTSSSS
What are mixed feelings?
Watching your mother-in-law backing up towards the edge of a cliff in your new BMW.
My friend called me today and said he was going to kill himself by jumping off of a cliff that overlooked a body of water unless I stopped specifying the names of geological formations for him.
I said back, "That's a bluff".
They say one friend out of every group has the potential to be a serial killer....
So I threw Dave off a cliff just in case it was him.
Why is it best to teach physics on the edge of a cliff? (Original joke)
Because that's where students have the most potential.
I'm an undecided voter.
Shoot myself, overdose, or jump off a cliff?
A sheep,a pot and a snake walk together then fall of a cliff...
*Baah Dum Tssssss*
I was fed up with life and tried hanging myself from the side of a cliff, but I failed.
Now I'm just a cliffhanger and the suspense is killing me.
An Australian man living by the cliff has prevent over 150 suicides, during the 50 years he has lived there...
... by shooting them himself.
What do you call mixed emotions?
Watching your mother-in-law reverse off a cliff in your brand new car
A man asks out a woman...
Him: "If you don't say yes I'm going to jump off that 500 foot cliff over there."
Her: "I call that a bluff."
A bus carrying 53 politicians rolls off a cliff....
A farmer sees what happened and buries all the politicians.
Two hours later there are 100 reporters at the farmhouse to interview the poor fellow. One reporter asked him - did you make sure they were all dead before burying them?
The farmer replied - the truth is, some of them said they were still alive, but I know never to trust a politician!
A goat, a drum, and a rattlesnake fall down a cliff...
ba dum tss
I once fired a cannon off a cliff
Looking back, using a cannonball would probably have been better.
Why did the Jew jump off the cliff?
He couldn't resist a free fall.
My ex updated her status on Facebook to standing on the edge of a cliff.
So I poked her
Someone has most likely made this dad joke before but I'm still proud/ashamed to have come up with it myself.
Man 1: Did you hear about my neighbor who jumped off a cliff?
Man 2: Yeah, it's really unfortunate, he seemed like such a down to earth guy.
A professor asked one of his automotive students if he knew what the definition of "mixed emotions" was...
The student said "watching your mother-in-law drive off a cliff in your new Cadillac."
I was clinging for dear life on the edge of the cliff...
As the rescue team approached, one of the guys shouted, "Whatever you do, don't look down!"
So I started smiling...
A vegan said to me, "people who sell meat are gross!"
I said, "people who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer."
credits to Adele Cliff, from the Edinburgh Festival Fringe. Link in the comments
What is the definition of bitter sweet?
Your Mother in law driving off a cliff in your brand new Corvette.
A distressed but attractive woman
A distressed but attractive woman stands at the top of a cliff trying to get together the nerve to jump.
A passing hobo stops and asks "since you're about to kill yourself anyway, do you mind if we have sex first?"
The woman replies, "Get away from me you sicko"
As the hobo turns and walks away he mutters "fine, I'll just go wait at the bottom then"
A goat, a drum, and a snake fell off a cliff..
Baa- dum- ssss
A climber fell off a cliff, and, as he tumbled down, he caught hold of a small branch.
"Help! Is there anybody up there?" he shouted.
A majestic voice boomed through the gorge:
"I will help you, my son, but first you must have faith in me."
"Yes, yes, I trust you!" cried the man.
"Let go of the branch," boomed the voice.
There was a long pause, and the man shouted up again, "Is there anybody else up there?"
Two dinosaurs standing on a cliff
As they're looking out to sea an ark floats past. One dinosaur turns to the other one and says,
'Oh, was that today?'
How many mobsters do you need to push a man off a cliff?
None. He slipped and fell by himself.
My parents don't understand my generation joking about committing suicide and said I wasn't allowed to...
Me: all my friends do it
Parents: if all you're friends jumped off a cliff would you do that too
Me: ok it's bad enough that you won't let me joke about it but you don't need to be a hypocrite
A bus full of cheerleaders went off a cliff
Miraculously, all twenty of them managed to grab onto the same branch sticking out of the cliffside. There were nineteen beautiful blondes and one brunette. The brunette saw the branch was starting to break, so she made a decision.
"Listen ladies," she said. "As skinny as we are, this branch can't hold all our weight. You're all so beautiful and talented, so I'm going to let go in hopes that it's enough to save your lives. Tell my family I love them."
The blondes were so moved by her selfless sacrifice that they gave her a round of applause.
There's a kid about to jump off a cliff.
His dad walks up and asks why he's going to jump. The kid says, I'm depressed and I hate your dad jokes. Hi depressed...
I was drinking my milkshake on a cliff and thought to myself...
Wow, this is ledge 'n dairy!
Why did the Mexican take his wife to the top of a cliff?
Tequila
A lamb, a drum and a snake fall off a cliff
Baa, dum, tsss
Vladimir Putin and Kim Jong Un are discussing their countries, and decide to have a contest to see whose soldiers are more obedient.
They are in a hotel at the top of a mountain near a cliff.
Vladimir Putin instructs a soldier to run and jump off the cliff. The soldier says "Please Putin, I have a wife and children!" Putin lets him go.
Kim Jong Un instructs a soldier to jump. The soldier runs to jump off the cliff. Putin grabs him before he can, telling him not to jump. The soldier says "Please Putin, I have a wife and children!"
'You're beautiful and I love you," I yelled as I stood alone on the cliff.
And my echo replied "I just want to be friends."
Christian Horse
A Christian guy named Bill saw ana d online for a Christian Horse, so he went to check it out. The horse's owner said, "It's easy to ride him. Just say 'Praise the Lord!' to make him go and 'Amen!' to make him stop."
Bill got on the horse and said, "Praise the Lord!" Sure enough, the horse started to walk. "Praise the Lord!" he said again, and the horse began to trot. "Praise the Lord!" he yelled and the horse broke into a gallop.
Bill was enjoying his ride so much that he almost didn't notice the cliff he and horse were about to go over. Bill shouted "AMEN!" at the top of his lungs, and the horse stopped right at the edge of the cliff.
Relieved, Bill said, "Phew, Praise the Lord!"
2 guys are watching a naked man free fall from a cliff
one guy says: I thought he was crazy at first, but now I realise he has got balls of steel
the other says: Yes, i know. And its making him fall even faster!!
(original joke, hope you like!!)
A rabbi, a priest, and an imam stand on the side of the road holding signs saying the end is near .
A truck drives by and the driver shouts you dumb religious wackos , makes the turn and drives off the cliff. The rabbi turns to the priest and imam and says you think we should change our signs?
A redditor repeating 15, 15, 15 ... passes by a hedge fund manager.
The hedge fund manager starts to follow him curiously. The redditor keeps repeating 15. The hedge fund manager follows him out of the town, on an unpaved road, to the edge of a cliff where the redditor looks down repeating 15. The hedge fund manager comes next to him to look down into the cliff. The redditor pushes him in. 16, 16, 16....
Mick Jagger and Keith Richards were cruising down the coast.
Coming around a bend they saw a magnificent bald eagle in the middle of the road. When Mick swerved to miss it he lost control of the car and they plummeted off a cliff to their death.
A tragic case of killing two Stones with one bird.
Politicians go on a vacation
Politicians go on a vacation by bus.
The bus driver gets distracted by the beautiful scenery and drives off a cliff next to a farm.
The following day the police question the farmer:
\- Did you not find any victims?
\- Actually, I did.
\- And where are they?
\- Well, I buried them.
\- Every politician died?!
\- Some of them said they didn't, but I don't believe a word of what they say anymore...
PS: English is my second language so apologies for mistakes.
A cowboy buys a horse from the town pastor.
To make the horse go, you gotta yell, Thank God! And to make it stop, yell, Hallelujah," explains the pastor.
The cowboy thanks him and rides off. He rides all day and starts to nod off in the saddle when he notices he is about to ride straight over a cliff.
Quickly he yells to the horse, Hallelujah! Hallelujah! The horse grinds to a stop just at the edge of the cliff.
The cowboy wipes the sweat off his forehead, sighs and says, *"Phew, Thank God."*
My friends think that your name represents what you should do in life. Dina worked to find a dinosaur fossil, and Jack became a lumberjack,
We don't talk about Cliff.
Talk about coincidence
BBC NEWS: Three Cliff Walkers have fallen to their death on an expedition....
Can't believe they all had the same name.
A preacher trained his horse to go when he said "Thank God" and to stop when he said "Amen"
The preacher mounted the horse and said "Thank God" and went for a ride. When he wanted to stop for lunch , he said " "Amen." He took off again saying "Thank God"
The horse started going toward the edge of a cliff. The preacher got exited and said "whoa! whoa!" Then he remembered and said "Amen" and the horse stopped at the edge of the cliff. The preacher was so relieved and grateful that he looked up to heaven and said "Thank God!"
3 men are standing on a cliff near the ocean.
Suddenly, a genie appears and says: "I can turn you into anything you want, if you jump off this cliff. Just say what you want to transform into after jumping, and I will work my magic."
The first man jumps, and shouts:
"Seagull!"
He then transforms into a seagull, and flies away.
The second man jumps, and shouts:
"Whale!"
He turns into a whale, and lands in the water.
The third man, tripped on a rock and shouted:
"Shit!"
Subscriptions
Steve and Cliff are having this talk. Steve says, "My wife lets me subscribe to National Geographic and Playboy for the same reason." Cliff says, "Why?"
Steve says, "Because with both magazines, I get to see places I'll never get to visit."
Told my ex I had a wet dream about her last night
She fell off a cliff and I pissed myself laughing
What is yellow from outside, black from inside, flies and screams?
Buss full of nuns falling down the cliff.
A goat, a drum and a rattlesnake fall off a cliff. What sound do they make?
Ba Dum Tss
Vladimir Putin, Donald Trump and Kim Jong-Un jump off a cliff. Who wins?
Mankind
A lamb, a drum and a snake fell of a cliff.
Baah Dumm Tsss
Source: https://jokojokes.com/cliff-jokes.html
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